Welcome

Before you read any of my reviews, you should know these things:

First, I have a decidedly alternative opinion on most cultural and social phenomena.  If you are trying to decide whether you should watch one of these movies with your family or with your partner at the local megaplex after shopping at the mall, these reviews probably will not help you.  Unless, of course, you take the exact opposite meaning of all of my reviews, in which case these critiques could probably form quite the useful guide.

Second, my primary criterion in considering a film is how good it is.  This does not mean how entertaining, or how scary, or how funny, or how sad it is.  I consider film to be very much like art, therefore I usually look at how well-made or technically competent it is, how consistent, and how true to its aim, among other factors. When I watch a film I look at the acting, editing, script/direction and cinematography, and probably more.  I look at how much I believe it. I generally like intelligent films that make you think, but I can appreciate stupid comedies as well, as long as they’re well-made.

I like all genres except for romantic comedies, which are not only useless but actually harmful in that they poison our societal notion of love.

Last, I generally don’t provide complete synopses in my reviews. The reason I got into reviewing wasn’t because I thought it would be super-awesome to waste my time.  I got into it for two reasons:  1) a writer/director friend of mine told me I should do it after I sent him an email about how much “No Country for Old Men” actually sucked, even though all these people loved it (which was really only because they didn’t want to seem stupid by admitting they had no idea what was going on throughout the entire film). 2) I was sitting on my rocker, jacked up on instant coffee, after viewing “Reservoir Dogs,” “Munich,” and the original “Solaris” in a two-day span, and I thought, Man I have some great opinions on these movies, the world really deserves to get in on this shit. But back to the point:  if you want to know what a movie is about, go to imdb.com or wikipedia and come back here afterwards.  Or don’t.

Update 8/31/2013: All of these words now apply to my book reviews, which I am beginning to include here.  These are actually the only reviews I am now continuously adding (I watch too many movies and have too many children — one — to be able to keep up with all the reviews anymore).